Wednesday, September 8, 2010

feeling like a new me

Thank you everyone for all your comments on my last post. your support gives me courage. i do have to remember that i can do this. and things do tend to work themselves out.

on a different front, i've started to feel a little differently about things and about myself. i'm more grounded, less dramatic, more realistic, less focused on my appearance, and i'm spending a lot less time in la la land.

for once, i find myself wanting mental excitement, not crazy thrills. it's...well,thrilling. at 46, can i begin to become the real woman i've tucked down deep inside? can i?

it's the happiest, most warming thought i've had in a while.

i don't know if i'm explaining this well. i don't really understand it myself. for right now, as i told my therapist, i'm poignantly happy.


  1. That's wonderful!!!

    I'm sorry I haven't been very supportive online with what's going on in my life, but I think of you often and pray for you. Yes, you can become the woman you were meant to be!

    I'm so proud of you!

  2. Poignantly happy is awesome :) Savor that :)

  3. Glad you are starting to come around a little. That feeling of change, seeing that the world offers so much more is really cool!

    I hope the new job is going well.

  4. Awesome, and I love the way you described the shift you're experiencing. You deserve nothing less than the best, glad you're making progress!

  5. Angela E.: thank you, thank you. and please don't worry about commenting -- i know you are there, and that's so wonderful for me.

    Kim; yes, i have to remember to savor it. i lose good feelings so easily. but things can be nice, can't they?

    Eating Alone; i start the job next week -- ahhh, it's been such bliss having the time off. i am excellent lady of leisure! I am coming around a little -- it's so new that it can feel fleeting. i need to remember to stay attuned. i think IOP is really helping.

    Cammy; glad my description made sense. it really just barely makes sense to me. i keep saying that it's all so new, and it is. it's a wonderful feeling when i have it.

  6. Hi - First time I've commented - Just want you to know how much you inspire me. I've struggled with food since I was about 12 years old. You make me feel less alone about this.

    thank you.

  7. So glad you are feeling better! I am behind in my reading and commenting, I hope you are still feeling good.

  8. josie; thank you for your comment. i've struggled with food since i was... eight? and i'm 46. but things are a lot better. there is so much hope, and i really believe anything is possible. and YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

    harriet; thank you. it's day to day, but i realize i am changing. i do feel more grounded. and real. yesterday was a tough day, but today was good. i'm just nervous about the new job. hope to settle in soon!!!!