Monday, April 4, 2011

Clothes That Fit

Yes, my clothes are too tight. As i write this, i'm wriggling around in some jeggings that used to fit just fine. now, there's muffin top rolling over the front of my jeans. happily, i have a big sweatshirt that skims my (newly full) thighs. unhappily, i struggle to breathe.

i've been ignoring the fact that my clothes are just too tight. i kind of wondered were my weight would land after i got better adjusted to the crazy hours of the new job. but instead of floating back down, as i'd truly suspected would happen, things are still going up, up and away.

i'm hanging in. i'm genuinely interested in where this all will settle. i'm just doing what i'm doing and living a good life and wondering what size my body wants to be.

it's not always easy, but i can put it aside and go on with my life. i think i look like a normal person -- i'm not special in my thinness or special in my heaviness. i'm average. nothing about my weight or eating or body image is special. but, i can be special as a person.

so yes, i'm okay with body changes BUT what about my wardrobe? i can't afford new clothes.

ahh -- there's a bright side. it's almost summer -- i'll bet all my sundresses and t-shirt dresses will fit. problem avoided. YAY


  1. Can I tell you one more time how amazing you are? As I was reading your paragraph about being special in your thinness, I was thinking, "Damn, there is SO much special about her," and when I got to your last sentence, I was happy to see you acknowledge it yourself.

    One more time: you are amazing.

  2. Yes, I know how this is! The thing is, your body *will* adjust to your happy weight. Just give it a little time.

    I actually just posted about this:

  3. Hi, there :) I thought I'd post my reply to your comment here as well:

    To "I hate to weight":

    I've been on my recovery journey for a little over a year, starting in January of 2010. I gained around 3 pounds pretty much right when I started forcing myself to eat 3 meals a day (I was a BIG meal skipper). And as of now, I have gained right around 5 pounds.

    My weight has pretty much stayed within this range +/- a pound or two since last year. Within the last 4-5 months I began eating 'intuitively' which was very difficult at first, and has now become much easier and very enjoyable.

    I used to be very uncomfortable eating out, but now I would say that the issue is pretty much resolved. The thing that helped this is that I went on a one week honeymoon this past August, had an amazing time, and never worried about food-- I did not gain any weight. I also just got back from a 2 week vacation during which I ate out a ton-- again, I did not gain any weight.

    However, I have gone up in pant sizes this past year, and that has been my biggest hurdle. My blog is riddled with these stories, so you're welcome to read up on all of my tribulations! =)

    Here are some posts that may be interesting for you:

    P.S. I don't own a scale, and only weight myself once in a while if I'm at a place where one is available.


  4. My weight has been stable and healthy for almost three months. Now I need to buy some real clothes - I have been living in leggings and loose jeans, and would like to dress more like my age (45).

    I also am lucky my summer dresses will fit as I have already tried them on. I prefer dresses; they are just more comfortable.

    Your weight will settle at its set point. You are doing great!!!!

  5. Vegas Linda Lou: This means a lot to me, coming from you. i have such admiration for you and the way you've grown and shaped your whole life. and you seem to be having a really great time living that life! you're a continuting inspiration

    Yasi; thank you for your openness -- very helpful. i will definetely be reading your blog, ongoing.

    i have gained about 35 pounds from my, very lowest weight. i was never naturally thin, and it takes some getting used to that when i do eat naturally -- i really pick up weight. i eat healthfully and, i think, moderately. we'll see where it all leads! for now, i'm just trying to be happy in life.

    Thank you again for your comments!

    Angela; yes, i look forward to dresses! hope the air conditioning isn't too high in my new job!!

  6. Girl, you are anything but average.

    Keep on enjoying life and hanging in and being!

  7. I love dresses.
    And air conditioning in the summer sp we can keep wearing our sweatshirts.

    Don't forget, there's some awesome stuff at Goodwill!

  8. danielle mari; great suggestions! i often forget to just "be".

    missy; thank you for writing!

    i love dresses too. they make me happy. i DID forget Goodwill. great reminder.