this life here, right now, is kinda "eh". sooo, i am perking up to get things going. a girl can dream -- dreaming, happily, is free.
sooo, the job is quite "eh". there's still pretty much nothing for me to do, and i get the really scut jobs, if any. it's not particularly good for the ego, BUT i am doing so much work on myself around it. i need a job, i need to pay my rent, i need benefits and this is where i am right now, and it really is okay
but, this is not where i have to be forever. that's where dreaming comes in. and that's how i'm going to spend some time today. where would i like to be? what kind of work sounds appealing? what do i want in a job, a home, a life? what do i want for myself. what's important to me? what are my values? what am i doing to live them?
i've sort of been biding time, trying to make the hours pass at work. but that's not how i want to spend my days -- life is too short to kill time. what can i do to make the most of this life?
i'm a little nervous. will i get overwhelmed, as i do so often? will i decide i'm too under-qualified for everything i want in life? will my old negative voices kick in, as they always have in the past? and then what will i do to bring in new, hopeful voices?
hmm, we'll see.
Dreaming is great, and those are definitely excellent questions. I hope you find the answers, or at least get instincts about what would move you in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post and questions :-) I should probably think about those questions too, even though it seems overwhelming... And yeah, I can definitely relate to not being too excited about my job but feeling under-qualified to do anything else at the moment (and in addition, I don't know what I'd like to do since I've been not feeling like doing anything - probably (and hopefully) mostly because of my depression...)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with answering the questions!
I've been following your blog for over a year now, and this is the first time I've commented. I just wanted to say that I love your honesty and self-awareness. Dreams become reality all of the time, we just have to take a chance on ourselves and you're getting pretty good at that!! :)
ReplyDeleteIt can never hurt to dream :) It sounds like you're making all sorts of changes (just catching up on the post about giving up gum and candy too). You're really inspirational and your questions are all ones that I should probably consider too (well, except the what kind of guy one, since I don't think my husband would be too thrilled with that one, haha). Hope the rest of your week goes well :)
ReplyDeleteHarriet; Thanks. i hope so too. this is the very stalled part of my life. everything else seems to move forward (or at least move around), but career has always been my weak spot.
ReplyDeleteZuzka: you said it exactly. i'm not thrilled but feel so under-qualified to do anything. for me, that leads to depression. i've been working on that depression. hope yours is turning around too.
Rockin Austin: Thank you for writing and for your kind words. i like that, "dreams become reality all the time". i tend to forget that. i need to not limit my dreaming and to not start getting all negative about the possibilities. much appreciated.
kris; you really made me laugh. thank you! i AM making changes and starting to feel better. i'm glad to see it. still, tomorrow is saturday and all i want to do is crawl under the covers and sleep and rest and do NOTHING. no change tomorrow -- just rest. have a great rest of your week too!