Wednesday, August 15, 2012
The New Appetite Suppressant
Just read an article called "The Skinny on the new Diet Pill" about Belviq, a new appetite-control drug.
The odd thing is that when i was eating compulsively (and would easily have been considered obese), i NEVER ate out of appetite or physical hunger.
Food meant comfort, (temporary comfort, which is why i kept eating -- i only felt soothed whilei eating. The minute i stopped swallowing, all the emotional pain came back.) That's what i did my whole life -- i ate, hoping to soothe.
And i ate so often, I never actually had any hunger to control
I did have one happy year between compulsive eating and constant starving. It was junior year of high school. My mom was living in Manhattan with her boyfriend and i was in NJ living with my dearest, best friend Frank, who was two years older and had taken a year off between high school and college.
i loved Frank more than anyone and knew he loved me unconditionally. We had a great year. I played hooky much of the time and he and i hung out in the park, he taught me to drive, we went to movies every day and we ate together.
Yet, i was so content, I ate naturally. without thinking or trying, i began to lose weigh, without thinking or trying t. i also began, for the first time, to make friends in school and to enjoy myself and to think of things other than food
For once, I felt safe and secure and lived in a happy home.
Senior year, Frank left for college and my mom came back to Jersey with the really awful boyfriend.
Out went peace, ease, tender loving care and using food for tasty fuel. Back came food as loving mother, caring lover, best friend and everything else in between.
Except for junior year, i NEVER ate from appetite or hunger. i ate for comfort.
Does the new appetite-suppressing pill come with a loving family, dear friends and a therapist?