Monday, October 15, 2012


I’m not sure what happened, but I’m feeling just so alone. And lonely.

I’m someone who exquisitely enjoys spending time by myself – reading books, browsing bookstores, readingin the bath tub, reading newspapers (see a pattern?) I CHERISH this time and never feel complete if I don’t have enough space to myself.

But lately, I find I’m spending big chunks of time on my own and feeling sad. I live in New Jersey - my best friends live in Manhattan and Queens and my family’s in Pittsburgh. Everyone seems married or paired off or busy with kids.

I signed up for a class, but it was canceled. I know I need to get out and be around people. Sometimes, I go to bars and hang-out because that’s what I used to do. But now I’m 48 and by myself, and it just seems sorta – pathetic.

I’m looking for a part-time job and therein lies another problem – money’s an issue and with too much time on my hands and by myself, I worry, worry, worry.
It’s not that I’m truly miserable or in a terrible space. Mostly, there’s confusion. I used to have friends and make them easily. I haven’t changed – I’m still friendly and love to laugh.

This all sounds gloomy, and it’s not all that bad. I see where I’m so lucky – to have a job and best friends, even if they live a bit away. I’m no longer anorexic and bulimic, nor do I drink or do drugs.

Now, I need to learn how to fly


  1. I'm sorry that you are feeling lonely lately. Are there any book clubs in your town that you can join? That might be a good way to meet and connect with new people.

    I wish you good luck and I hope you start to feel better soon. :)


  2. I understand how you feel. You will get through this.


  3. I'm so glad to see you writing and reaching out. Isolation is very lonely. Keep writing. We are here for you. I agree with Nicole. A book club would be a great way to meet people that you have something in common with. I've missed you, and wondered how you were doing. Sending love <3

  4. Deja que Dios entre a tu corazon: El llenara todos tus vacios. Bless

    MARIANA- From Argentina