Tuesday, May 17, 2011


I liked this definition of spiritual growth, "an ever-deepening capacity to embrace life with justice, compassion, curiosity, awe, wonder, serenity and humility."

My new-found spirituality is what's keeping me going these days; it's what gives me hope. i pray constantly to be kind, compassionate, just, grateful and humble. i examine my actions and intentions to see where i can always do better, all the while working toward compassion for myself.

it hasn't been an easy time with work and relationships. none of my friends live in new jersey and i've struggled more than usual to make friends lately. maybe it's my age, and i live in suburbia where everyone's married and doing their own thing.

i found myself very lonely this weekend -- like in the old days, but then i'd use food and alcohol and pills to run from the loneliness. this weekend, i helped out an elderly friend who'd moved into assisted living and ran an AA meeting and called my friends (who sadly, don't live near me.)

now i have hope. and tools for pulling me out of sadness, anxiety and depression. before, there was no hope -- just food, alcohol and pills.

before spirituality, i thought i alone ran the show. I was the alpha and the omega, life began and ended with me. that's very lonely, empty, and....scarey for me.

what i believe is still developing. but starting with justice, compassion, curiosity, awe, wonder, serenity and humility doesn't hurt!


  1. I like how you decided to put someone else first, and also distract yourself from your lonliness. That is so proactive. You never fail to amaze me!

  2. :)

    I like your definition too -- it's one to which people of any faith should adhere.

  3. I can so relate to this post. (Oh, Christ, does it always have to be about me???) But seriously, after my last divorce my spiritual books and even the crazy New Age churches I went to pulled me through it all. And to cheer me up (ha!), I worked as a hospice volunteer. When you do something good for other people, you can't help feel better about your own life.

    All this is in my book. I don't know if you've read it, but it's really funny and I think you'll get a kick out of it. I know you're low on funds, so if you send me an email with your contact info, I'll pop one in the mail to you. linda@bastardhusband.com