Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I Need Your Help

I wrote this entry this morning and posted it under "The Lunch Order". i didn't realize then just how much i really, really want/need your feedback, thoughts and advice. If you have a couple of minutes, i hope you'll, uh, "weigh" in. Thank you so much. Here's the original post.

There's not much for me to do here at my new job, but one of those few things, sadly, is getting everyone's lunch. Couldn't i just dig for coal?

this is a FOOD-oriented group and picky and particular. did i mention they're all picky and particular?

does anyone else see the irony of a woman with a 30+ year history of eating disorders being the resident food enabler?

my gang here gets hungry early. we're a meat distributor that opens at 2:30 am. (i get in at 7.) by the time 8:30 am rolls around, it's "Melissa, what's for lunch? Melissa, we're huuuungry".

by 9:30 am, i'm off to the supermarket to fulfill each person's needs (that's after the hour or so it takes to get everyone's order.) Sue's on the Atkins diet, so it's cold-cuts for her. Annie wants fruit, but is very picky about the quality. Johnnie needs sweet pickles; Marg wants gherkins. Different mustards, different dressings. Walnuts for Sue (is that even on Atkins?), lightly salted cashews for Annie. Becky asks for boiled ham -- sliced THIN. the boss wants coleslaw without any purple cabbage. diet coke, regular pepsi, vitamin water.... it goes on and on and on.

it's worse if we order in. it takes a good hour or so to get consensus on a place. then no one can make their minds up about what to eat. then i have to call a few places to see what the specials are. after that, everyone special orders EVERYTHING anyway, so who cares what's on the menu or the specials? and everyone complains about the cost...and, it doesn't end.

so ironic that's i'm the gal. me, i like to forget about food during the day and only think about it when i'm hungry. to spend most of my morning on this (hearing the whining, taking the order, going to the supermarket, shopping, laying out the food table, cleaning up....)is fairly bizarre, vaguely freaky and always annoying. on top of it, i feel demeaned -- like a servant.

i wouldn't mind all this so much, i think, if i were a waitress, but i had no idea this was going to be a (big) part of my job when i was hired. i thought i was going to be trained in the business and then groomed to sell. hmm.

i'm smiling now. i put off writing this post because i know it makes me pretty darn cranky and i, myself, start whining. but after this morning ("this grapefruit isn't ripe enough", "no purple cabbage", ) i needed to vent.

why do i stay at this job, you may ask yourself (and me)? well, i'm not quite ready to switch AGAIN. and i find lots wrong with every job i work.

this job, in general, is low stress for now. there's not that much to do. i can leave early if it's really dead. i'm way over-paid for what i'm doing, and i have benefits. going to the supermarket (and running all the other errands) gets me outside for at least an hour. everyone's nice enough to me.

besides, i don't know what else i'd want to do at this point. this is a really good time to figure it out. i'm sober, getting more confident, enjoying life itself a lot more and beginning to really work on fear.

fear keeps me doing all the things i shouldn't be doing and keeps me from doing all the things i could. touche


  1. I'm glad your job is low stress but it still sounds kinda frustrating! If I were you I think I would start looking for another, but I can understand not wanting to switch again :/ tricky.
    Thoughts are with you.

  2. I wish I knew you better to advice...
    If fear is holding you back, take the leap.
    Don't be too impulsive, but don't be afraid of change if you think it may help xxx

  3. hmm, that would be very annoying. Maybe it's sort of a hazing or a rite of passage, since you are new there.

    I would suggest chucking a few powerbars at them and backing away.....slowly......

  4. The food thing is a bit funny. For two years or more I was doing all of the grocery shopping for work and every Monday morning had to buy stuff for the week. Now I do it online. It is bad enough making good food choices for my family let alone my work collegues.

    Life is easier now we order it in online. Can you just do a Monday morning online order for all of the provisions and the food last for the week? People can make their own thing. I mean, surely there is a fridge there to store it in. Who did it before you?

    Can you say to the boss "can we take turns doing this lunch thing?" I know you are getting paid to be a lunch monitor but I think I would die of utter cranky boredom if I had to sort lunches for everyone.

    But I bet you are so lovely and nice to them about it (I know I would be the same) and nobody knows it kind of shits you. Hmmmm.

    Hey! Here is an about people bring their lunch into work! Think of the savings.

    Good luck!

  5. I was going to suggest something similar -- just buy everything on Monday, even if it means going to the grocery store and having a lot of bags. Then, my guess, is that everyone will fight amongst themselves over whether or not the ham was theirs or someone else's and whether or not they can trade a gherkin for a sweet pickle, lol.

    That is pretty crazy though :) Way to go putting up with that everyday!! I'd be thinking $$ and benefits everyday at lunch time.

  6. Lucy; thank you for this comment. it meant a lot to me. it's the reason i re-wrote the intro to ask for help.

    Sia Jane; yes, fear does hold me back. not necessarily from quitting the job, but from growing into new directions that might please me more. thank you. it feels really good to get responses

    Lisalisa; thanks for the laughs! i have to go to the supermarket soon -- maybe i'll get some of those powerbars!! i also have to go to Staples and the post office. it's so weird -- i used to have a career. how did i get to be errand girl?

    Linda; i'm a little worried because i think i'm becoming a bit less lovely. i wish i could do a weekly order, but these folks like something different everyday. some days i'm running to Taco Bell (with all their crazy special orders which the person behind the counter doesn't understand), other days it's the supermarket, or pizza...

    unfortunately, my boss pays for lunch BUT is getting cheaper and cheaper. so, people order what they want, and i get to hear all about how expensive it is from the boss. (p.s., i've started bringing my own lunch.)

    sorry to keep venting. i'm blue today.

    kris; thank you! re-reading this reminded me that i do need a job. i'm total errand girl today and getting cranky. i keep wanting to drive past the supermarket and just keep driving. thanks for the reminder!!!!

  7. As I read these posts I find you complain about nothing significant, you have a job ... apparently one which pays you way too much and you do little with (you're ungrateful), you come across as a chronic whiner seeking constant attention. Apparently there is LITTLE to NOTHING in life that is satisfying to you, why is that? What is it that you are looking for? Perhaps that's your quest.

  8. Wow gotta say anonymous is BIG JERK!

    Now that that's said, you have a few choices. 1 Suck it up and do it (and I would milk the amount of time for all it's worth).
    2 Do it but don't worry about the picky eaters, ie pick up any fruit if it's not right then say "sorry I'm just not good at picking out the right food, why don't you come with and show me how."
    3 Go to you boss and sit down and tell them about how you feel like your not doing your best for them by spending so much time on food.
    4 Go to HR and let them know that your just out of treatment for an ED and picking up food just doesn't work for you. Or maybe ask your T what they think you should say.

    Me I would suck it cause I'm a big old doormat. Good luck.

  9. I don't have any advice, just wanted to add another voice saying to completely ignore the anonymous post at the top of these comments.

    Hope you can figure out a way around this, good luck!

  10. Eating Alone: good suggestions all! thank you. and thank you for your support!!!

    Just Me: thank you. i don't know, but Anonymous sounds a lot like my ex-boyfriend who used to comment on the blog.

    the funny thing is - no matter who it is-- there actually is a point in there. i DO complain a lot, i do find i seek attention and i really need to be more grateful. there are good things in the job, and i am very lucky, indeed, to have a job.

    the tone of the post wasn't particularly nice, but i actually got something from it!

  11. IHTW: What is blogging for if not to complain now and then? Sounds like Mr Anonymous is having a bit of a whinge himself.

    Hey, did you lose comments from your blog because I know I left a comment on this post.

    Blogger was down for 24 hours and I think comments were lost during that time.