In her blog Between Living and Existing (http://betweenlivingandexisting.blogspot.com/), Tiptoe writes about Medications -- not always wanting to take them and not always having the patience to keep taking them until they, potentially, work.
I have tons of my own frustrations with meds. My current issue -- not even the fanciest doctors seem to know what the meds do, why they work and what dosage is best. it's often just trial and error.
i take Lexapro, Trazedone, Neurontin and Antabuse.
Take, for example, Neurontin. i believe it's an anti-seizure medicine that seems to have the side effect of helping anxiety. No one knows why or how or how much to take. it's not addictive or harmful (i think) but you don't even know if it really works. it's not like klonopin which effects you quickly and clearly. instead, neurontin builds up in your system. with my doctors approval, i take a nice amount of it. i can't really tell if it helps, but i take it just in case it does. i know i'm less anxious but is it the neurontin?
Trazedone.. This was created as an anti-depressant, but i don't think it worked (that's what most people have told me, but one therapist told me did.) although it didn't make people happier, it did seem to have the side effect of making some people sleepy. when i ask my fancy upper east side manhattan psychiatrist why people get sleepy, she doesn't know, but if it helps and it doesn't hurt, why not? trazedone does make me sleepy but it also makes me nauseous. i don't know how people could take it during the day for depression!!!!
lexapro. please, who knows what, how, what dosage, although it does help my mood, and i'm glad i take it. when i first started taking it, i was crazy sick for nearly a week. i had a drug relapse because i was so miserable. i stayed with it, though -- i was only going to do this ONCE, and began to finally began to feel infinetely better. apparently, if i ever go off lexapro, it will be nasty. who really wants to take drugs that change your brain and make you really sick while entering and leaving the body? i guess is best for me for now.
antabuse. with this, i don't care why it works -- i'm taking, it works -- i'm sober and scared to drink. end of story.
those are my thoughts. i'm really jealous of the people in the future who will have better science. well, i guess i hope they all find great mental health, accompanied by truly peaceful and uninterrupted sleep. i'd like that for all of us too