Monday, August 17, 2009


In her blog Between Living and Existing (, Tiptoe writes about Medications -- not always wanting to take them and not always having the patience to keep taking them until they, potentially, work.

I have tons of my own frustrations with meds. My current issue -- not even the fanciest doctors seem to know what the meds do, why they work and what dosage is best. it's often just trial and error.

i take Lexapro, Trazedone, Neurontin and Antabuse.

Take, for example, Neurontin. i believe it's an anti-seizure medicine that seems to have the side effect of helping anxiety. No one knows why or how or how much to take. it's not addictive or harmful (i think) but you don't even know if it really works. it's not like klonopin which effects you quickly and clearly. instead, neurontin builds up in your system. with my doctors approval, i take a nice amount of it. i can't really tell if it helps, but i take it just in case it does. i know i'm less anxious but is it the neurontin?

Trazedone.. This was created as an anti-depressant, but i don't think it worked (that's what most people have told me, but one therapist told me did.) although it didn't make people happier, it did seem to have the side effect of making some people sleepy. when i ask my fancy upper east side manhattan psychiatrist why people get sleepy, she doesn't know, but if it helps and it doesn't hurt, why not? trazedone does make me sleepy but it also makes me nauseous. i don't know how people could take it during the day for depression!!!!

lexapro. please, who knows what, how, what dosage, although it does help my mood, and i'm glad i take it. when i first started taking it, i was crazy sick for nearly a week. i had a drug relapse because i was so miserable. i stayed with it, though -- i was only going to do this ONCE, and began to finally began to feel infinetely better. apparently, if i ever go off lexapro, it will be nasty. who really wants to take drugs that change your brain and make you really sick while entering and leaving the body? i guess is best for me for now.

antabuse. with this, i don't care why it works -- i'm taking, it works -- i'm sober and scared to drink. end of story.

those are my thoughts. i'm really jealous of the people in the future who will have better science. well, i guess i hope they all find great mental health, accompanied by truly peaceful and uninterrupted sleep. i'd like that for all of us too


  1. Wow, that's an education. My T keep's on "suggesting" that med's might help me. I don't want to take any more med's. I spent the last year getting to a more normal weight to get off the meds.

    I'm glad some of them are helping you. But it does seem like the doc's don't really know why they work.

  2. for all my ranting and raving, i do believe in meds, particulary anti-depressants, as long as we can find the right one for us.

    i think some meds make life easier and make it easier to deal with what life gives us. i know they help me, and but i also know that down the road, the options will, most likely, be so much better.

    i've been reading your blog. finally have a day off today and will have the time to respond. sending positive thoughts your way!

  3. I believe strongly that meds can help certain people, and I also agree that many doctors don't know what the hell they're I feel your frustration. I'm still pissed that my doctor prescribed me Klonopin when I specifically told her I did not want anything addictive (because I don't want my sleeping to rely on a medication). It's frustrating. All you can do is try to find a doctor who will listen and listen to your body to see how you feel...

  4. My doc would always say that you would expect someone with diabetes to take the necessary medications, so why is it any different for someone with depression or anxiety? I know there are substantial quibbles with this statement, but it reminds me that medication is a tool to manage whatever is screwy with your body (and your body includes your brain, something we often forget).

  5. All too often doctors are unqualified or uncaring practicioners who pacify their patients with drug therapy much like a parent who pacifies a child with candy .... it's especially disturbing after readng ... "i ask my fancy upper east side manhattan psychiatrist ... she doesn't know" - WHAT AM I PAYING HER FOR? ... and this med ... "seems to have the side effect of helping" - WILL A PLACIBO EFFECT ACTUALLY HELP ME GET BETTER? ... or ... "No one knows why or how much to take" ... - THIS IS NOT VERY COMFORTING TO ME ... all this summed up with "with my doctors approval" ... DO THESE DOCTORS REALLY CARE ABOUT THEIR PATIENTS OR ARE WE JUST LAB BUNNIES WHO PAY THEM TO EXPERIMENT ON US? ... I think I need to lay down for a moment.

  6. I'm often jealous of the future generation who get better drugs, but then I realize that I'll be one of them someday. It just makes me sad that seven years were spent looking for the right medications and there still aren't ones that completely work for me. It's kind of a guessing game. I've been on Lexapro before with little results, but I'm glad it does something for you.

  7. dood, I hear ya! I take Pristiq (new drug, who knows if it works), Seroquel(antipsychotic, but I wasn't psychotic to begin with), Risperdal(ditto on this one), and trazodone(for sleep, except I don't need it cause the antipsychotics really knock me out). So why do I still feel so unbalanced (freaking nuts)?

  8. kim; i fully believe in medication. and in finding the right doctor. i like my newish psychiatrist because she won't give me klonopin or ambien, etc. that, of course, is because i am a recovering addict. i have friends who are addicts who are given drugs like klonopin or ativan and ambien or lunesta and it's really difficult. i took klonpin for a while. it does work but it IS addictive. ahhhhhhh, sometimes the choices aren't what we'd like them to be.

    lisa; agreed! the item i'd take to a desert island -- lexapro. i know lexapro adds so much to the quality of my life. antabuse keep me away from alcohol -- i'm happy with those two. the other two help too. i just wish i knew why or how.

    anonymous: i know where you stand on medications. advil is excessive to you. right now i AM being helped. the quality of my life exceeds anything i've had before. (i hope i don't sound defensive.) i thoroughly respect your point of view.

    just eat it: yes, the guessing game. that's the part that's so unnerving. you're right - everyone does react directly to different medications. i hope they figure out all the rights meds for you. it's so frustrating when things aren't all in place.

    lisalisa; you ask great questions. i'm still waiting for science to figure things out.

    seroquel really didn't agree with me. i've heard good things pristiq. and i take trazodone, which makes me nauseous. i wonder if YOU feel less unbalance than you did before?

  9. lisalisa: i forgot to say thank you for writing. i've seen your comments on other blogs and really enjoyed them. i've just started reading your blog and i really, really relate.

  10. I did lexapro for about 6 months. It didn't help 100% with depression. And the sickness never went away. That is, until I quit it, and I felt worlds better. Also, just letting you know, I didn't have terrible withdrawal. I just felt like I was wanting or needing something, but I didn't know what, as it wasn't food or water or sleep or whatever. It was over in 2 days. And I quit cold-turkey, against dr's orders.

  11. Mad Bird. I'm sorry that Lexapro didn't work for you. Can you try another anti-depressant? some people seem to need to try a few before they find the right one. unless, of course, you decided you don't want to be on an anti-d.

    thanks for letting me know you didn't suffer going off it. i suffered so getting on it -- i assumed it would suck coming off.

    thanks for commenting!!!!

  12. what do doctors know anyway?!?!? ... at a young age my parents asked me to give my 2 yr old brother his medication as they were leaving shopping (there's a 10 yr difference between us) to which i replied "no problem"

    this is a true story so pay close attention

    the time arrived, i called him over, and proceeded to give the little fella his med
    (after first peeling back the fancy mettalic foil covering)

    without too much trouble he chewed, swallowed, made some faces and went along his merry way ...

    little did i know back then that his medication required rather sensitive administration as it was a suppository ...

    even i knew, it wouldn't have made a difference as i hadn't a clue what to do with it anyway ... short story - the boy lived - AND i believe my keen administrativeability skill actually cured his ailment

    ... so, i'll have to stand by my opening remark .. what do doctors know anyway.