Monday, June 6, 2011

My Bosses and their Bodies

My two bosses (the owners) are wealthy sisters. One is 44, the other is 38. They live in Manhattan and have socialite lifestyles.

They also come in completely hungover a lot and love their Xanax. They constantly regale us all with stories of their drunken ventures. It's a little weird for me, considering my history with drugs and alcohol.

They also talk about diets ALL DAY LONG. Ann is on the Cookie Diet, but eats everything else all day long and then endlessly complains how fat she is. Mary walks around pinching her stomach and talking about her trainers. One day she'll eat only grapefruit, the next she'll eat the refrigerator.

I'm starting to wonder, though, if they don't throw up after they eat. I know Mary's thrown up when she's hungover, and when i've gone into the bathrooom after she makes that grand announcement, the toilet seat is sticky. (sorry for the TMI.) i'm not sure why it's sticky, but i think maybe she clutches the seat with lotioned hands? anyway, i've noticed lately that she runs to the bathroom a lot, stays in there for a long time and then the seat is sticky again.

Ann's been spending a lot of time in the bathroom lately too. Last Friday, the workers had to wait 1/2 an hour to get paid, because she was in there that long.

At first, all this confused me. What the heck am i, Ms. Everything Disorder, doing sitting next to these women. Now, i just feel sad for them. This can't be a happy life.



  1. Yikes, that does sound like a heavy scene to have to witness, especially for someone that has a bit of insight in what it's like to struggle internally. Hang in there and stay strong, I hope that being in that environment isn't impacting your own self-care, I know it can put someone in a difficult position to have that all around them all day. :/

  2. That is tough! But it just shows a fact of life...everyone is struggling and fighting their own battles...even if you cannot tell by just looking at them.

    I remember during my early recovery from anorexia I was so jealous of this girl who I thought had an eating disorder because she was still allowed to engage in eating disorder behaviors and stay skinny. I know see how ridiculous that is...eating disorders make people miserable.

    You are in a really tough situation because they are your bosses, not necessarily your "pals". But if you ever get jealous of them, remember that eating disorders are miserable and they must be so depressed from living like this.

  3. Ugh, sounds difficult. You know how they feel, having been there yourself. They definitely cannot be happy. Are they married? Any kids?

  4. That sounds so difficult for you, I've watched other people I know develop an eating disorder or extreme diets and it's so difficult to know what to do, I used to just feel helpless to watch. I hope you're able to distance yourself from it a healthy amount.

  5. Cammy; At first, it really drove me crazy being here (especially as i was so disappointed in the job), but now it doesn't bother me too much (Ann is A LOT easier to take than Mary.) i need to make sure that i remember that these are their lives and their issues and not mine. i need to make sure not to get wrapped up in their stuff! and i'm doing much, much better.

    Kayleigh.madison: thank you for writing and for your support! i am not jealus of their eating issues -- they just really bother me when they try to drag me in, especially as i have to order lunch and get all their food. BUT i was initially jealous of their drinking, as i'm in AA. they'd come in with all these stories of drinking and partying and i'd get envious and triggered. but then they came in so grossly hungover enough times for me to remember why i'm sober.

    Harriet; neither sister is married or has kids. i would imagine they'd be kind of high maintenance! i must say -- i wish it were different here. i can't figure out how i, with all my issues, managed to find a job sitting next to these two. it's a little surreal.

    Lucy; these has given me an oppty to get a better handle on my own stuff. my eating was a little loopier when i first started, but i've managed to relax and get back to my own ways and schedules. yeah, this probably isn't the best environment for me BUT it is pushing me to get moving on to the next best thing, ie, school! and that's a good thing

  6. Wow... I'm not a huge fan of hearing about other people's diets either. I'm always afraid that a.) I have nothing to contribute to the conversation once they drag me in -- because I'm not on a diet, and b.) if I'm not careful I might mention something to hint at the only form of dieting I know: stop eating all together. That being said, since I have nothing healthy to say, it always scares me and I tend to just ask questions and let the other person talk. Hopefully, if you get sucked into it, you can just steer the conversation through questions -- people like to talk about themselves. I applaud you for picking up on this and just feeling sad for them rather than jealous or triggered. It really is a sad life.

    One of the professors who isn't my boss but gives us tasks to do in the lab every now and then loves to talk about her diet, so I hear about that quite a bit too. In her case, though, I think she's just proud to have lost and gotten to a healthy weight and it reminds me that losing weight in a health conscious way IS good and then I'm happy for her. It's kind of opening my eyes to what healthy dieting is -- since I don't think I've ever seen it before!!

    Hope your week has been good :)

  7. They sound a little...unstable! Good thing they're IN CHARGE right? Ha. ;P

    I have a friend that I met at a treatment center last fall who moved to NY after, and she said the lifestyle is just brutal. And that about 80% of the women she knows practices some type of disordered eating -- whether it be restricting, throwing up, whatever. And they don't consider themselves to have a "problem." Sick culture. As a result, my dear friend has relapsed being around these people and constantly in that environment. It's very sad.

  8. Gosh, that is very sad isn't it? Especially when you know where they are coming from and can see it as an outsider.

    I wonder if anyone else actually realises what might be going on with those two?