Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Confidence: Body Style

Sunday, I went to a local lake with two friends, ages 50 and 29. (i'm 47.) we are probably around the same weights for our respective heights. (i'm 5'6 and 135.)

After an hour of hanging, the sun finally came out and almost in unison we pulled off our cover-ups. Both of them were wearing bikinis. My tank suit basically covered me from neck to as far down on my thighs as I could pull it. My other suit has a skirt.

i haven't worn a bikini since i was eight (it was pink with white polka dots), when i decided i had a huge belly. From then on, no matter how tiny i was (WAY TOO TINY), I still believed with 100% of my body and soul that my belly was way too big for this world, let alone a bikini!

It's nearly 40 years since i donned that little polka dot number, and i still have no desire to wear a bikini, BUT i do have a burning desire to finally have some confidence in this body that's bravely walked me thru life these last 47 years, no matter how badly i abused it.

i say i want to set an example for the next generations, helping younger women to feel wonderful about their bodies of all shapes and sizes. How can i be an example when i ridicule my "droopy" breasts, "blobby" stomach, "flat, wide" ass, "wide" hips and "bulgey" thighs?

I've got some work ahead! it won't be easy, but it will be healthy!!!! and well worth it, i'm sure


  1. Getting over going out in public in a bathing suit was one of my biggest hurdles! You can do it!!!

  2. That made me so sad to read.
    I struggle in a bikini when I am at home in the UK but as soon as I go away, I am away.
    I don't know why that is.
    Partly it is never hot in the UK but I feel safer elsewhere.
    I wonder if that could be an option...
    I don't know that was just a random exert from my experience.
    I believe in you xxx

  3. I have been thinking about this issue lately. When I meet my husband I was wearing a little black bikini (I was 26). Even though I am about the same weight now, I would never wear a bikini. BUT I do wear a bathing suit in public, I have friends who won't. Some won't take off their cover up, some will only sit, never get up to walk astound. How did your friends look in their bikinis?

  4. Angela; i'm not as concerned about the bathing suit thing -- i like my tank suits. i'm more interested in getting some darn body confidence. i have no experience in this area.

    sia jane; i still can't post on your blog at work. i've been following it, and you are so brave. this is the hardest stuff. be gentle with your heart.

    it IS sad that when i see my body, i see a whole lot of blob. i think i'm tired of it. what's the use? my guy friend digs my body -- who am i to say he has vision issues? i know that another person shouldn't be my gauge of my own body, but enough people have seemed to think i have a perfectly fine bod, it's time that i do too.

    Harriet: i noticed that you had some of the same theme in your last blog post. that's sad that some of your friends are so uncomfortable with their bodies.

    what has gone wrong with our world? it's so sad.

    my friends looked fine. cute.

    >unfortunately, i was raised that you don't wear a bikini unless you have a very flat, very exercised stomache and it sticks with me.

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