Thursday, January 20, 2011

Going Natural

I’ve posted before about my seriously low self-esteem when it comes to my looks. Way too much time and money (and I mean WAY TOO MUCH) has gone to cover and disguise my natural appearance.

With all the positive changes in me and my life, I’ve begun to lose interest. Does anyone care if my fingers and toes aren’t professionally manicured?

I used to wear so much make-up; I truly believed I looked UNACCEPTABLE if I wasn’t FULLY made-up at all times. I was embarrassed in front of my boyfriend in the morning. Last March, I went to Macy’s and spent $785 on cosmetics. And you have to know I had tons of make-up at home. Yes, that’s right - $785

Now, I slap on eyeliner and lipgloss, during the week. They both wear off by noon, BUT I DON’T CARE. I think it’s fine. I don’t cringe deeply when I look in the mirror. Wow.

I got Lasix eye surgery a year ago, and it’s thrilling to see, but really –I thought I was hideous with glasses. I recently saw picture of me with glasses and you know what – NOT HIDEOUS.

My biggest stumbling block was always my huge frizzy, brillo-pad hair. I straighten it professionally and have it dyed blonde pretty frequently.

Suddenly, it doesn’t look like me to me. I’ve been pouring through old pictures of my mousy brown mop-top and………..well, that's me.

This transformation of thinking amazes and thrills me. It’s brilliant to put my time and efforts into other things (anything!) but my appearance. And to I think that I look okay….well that’s priceless.

Saturday, I’m heading off to the hairdresser and going back to brown. Back to basics. Back to me.


  1. I'm so proud of you! All the time, you are discovering truths that will lead to loving the real authentic you. I am also peeling off the layer; less makeup, back to the naturally curly hair my husband loved (and still loves - yes he does!) I don't want to try and be perfect anymore, either in looks or in life. I want to be me. I want to be free.

  2. I am right with you on this. One of the reasons I decided to allow my hair to go grey is because I thought "when can I just be ME?". Lately I have been letting my hair go wavy (okay, still using hair product) and it feels much better.

    Back to basic? Nah, back to who you are. Lovely Bloggy Gal.

  3. Amazing post! Yes yes yes! I looked back at a picture of High School Me. I remember looking at myself and thinking how fat I was... I'd sock myself in the gut while glaring in the mirror. Now I look and think, what a cutie I was! And what a shame I missed it! Let's not make that mistake again, shall we?

  4. Wow, that's a lovely comment there above mine. It's ashamed some people don't have balls in the real world and have to anonymously go on blogs to vent their frustrations with their lives.

    Anyhow, I think it's great that you're trying something new (and yet not new, all at once) and I bet you'll look good brunette. If I liked my real hair color I'd be tempted to go back too (also blonde, but sadly I'm just an uglier shade of blonde underneath -- so no big change).

    I bet it will be great to have one less thing taking up your time!! Also, the thing I love most about changing one's hair color is that your whole wardrobe looks different afterward :)

  5. I did the same thing right before I went into treatment. I figured that I wouldn't be dying my hair there, so I went back to my natural color. I also gave up the mask of make up that I wore, and now it is mascara and lip gloss. It felt so good to stop hiding behind all of that. Have a great week!

  6. @ Kris: not sure what you think I meant, but I wasn't trying to be disrespectful...

  7. Danielle Mari; i went in and deleted a post from an Anonymous. i probably did it wrong, because it doesn't show on the blog that a comment was deleted. i've never done that before

    Anonymous shared some fine venom. You're comment was so wonderful, as always.

  8. LOL! I should've figured that out. Silly me! I was baffled! Ha! Ah well. Good for l laugh today.