I still lean on my eating issues. When I'm having a tough day or coping with fear, i think about what i'm eating and what i'm weighing or ...whatever i can to keep my mind busy.
After all these years, do i still nurture and fan the power of my disordered eating? Do i cling to it and actually not want to let it go?
It's different these days because i don't binge, purge and starve, as I did most of life; I'm a perfectly normal weight, not emaciated or obese, as i was, up and down most of my life. I'm a moderate eater nearly all of the time - NOT something i could have said, most of my life
There are real life issues I need to look at and deal with and still, i turn to body image, when i don't want to look or deal with the real.
I can get sooo interested in the whole body thing - journaling and contemplating and yet, that doesn't pay my bills or get my old car fixed or find me a career.
Time to start getting into the world and getting over the old standby - the Eating Disorder