Friday, May 15, 2009


Yippee. Yay!!!!! i haven't had a drink since Monday, and i'm finally feeling together today. i am proud.

now, i need to work on staying sober. last time, i didn't really plan how to do that. this time, i'm figuring out ways to keep me on track.

the beginning is always easy for me. what a relief. my body thanks me. my head is clear.

and i'm in control of my eating again. mindful. that's almost the biggest relief! it feels like i'm truly taking care of myself.

my head is coming up with all sorts of ideas -- do i want to take a knitting class? do i want to go back to school? do i want to finally clean my apartment?

it's exciting. i haven't felt this hopeful in a while. i'm going to enjoy the moment. ahhhh


  1. Glad to hear you're feeling hopeful!! I love those days, when possibilities are endless :)

  2. This is good to read. Good luck with knitting - I'm waaay too klutzy to even crochet, and that only involves one needle.

  3. I'm so proud of you, Melissa.

    Good for you. It IS ok for us to have a good life, it really is. We deserve that.

  4. Thats so great to hear=) I hope you find the steps to keep you going-and remember to reach out when you need it!

  5. Good news - I hope it lasts. Being 'good' can be hellish hard work, can't it? But the rewards are worth it.

    Keep plodding on - you'll get there!

  6. kim; yes, days with hope are the best. if i don't drink, anything is possible. i like that feeling. i'm holding on to it.

    lisa; i can't manage to crochet, but i really like to knit. my stitches aren't too even and not always pretty BUT the act of knitting completely relaxes me. it gives my wandering hands something to do.

    karen; thank you. i worried that people would get sick of my, yet another, try to stop drinking. it gets tiring - doing this over and over, but it's well worth the energy. or lack of energy -- i feel really tired. that will pass.

    i DO deserve a good life with every possibility. we all deserve it -- giving ourselves a chance.

    Sarah; oh, thanks for your wishes. i am looking for ways to stay sober. so far, so good. importantly, i'm limiting my exposure to alcohol and speaking up for my needs. and i have been reaching out, which is scarey but really helps.

    Annie: yes, it does feel like plodding. thru mud and mush and branches. but it's very worth it. and i can shift to watch my eating now. all my compulsivity has come to the fore. i'm not sure why.

    learning to cope without any crutches isn't easy. or particularly fun. but maybe this time i can get to some of those issues that keep me down. we'll see.

    thank you for your support. it means a lot to me.

  7. I hope you are still feeling better about it all. You know, ups and downs are okay and once you recognise them for what they are it makes life more manageable.

    Maybe look at it this way. You are on a good run and intend to embrace it and when a bad run comes along you will deal with it then.

    I always think the very fact you acknowledge your drinking, smoking and eating ups and downs is the best thing. So many people never do.

  8. linda; thank you. and thankfully, i'm feeling and doing well. the last few days have been much better and easier. anxiety's still a bit rough, but i'm managing.

    i'm starting to look at the issues i've been avoiding thru drinking and eating. it's not the most comfortable place to be, but it's important to deal with the stuff that comes up, instead of trying to drink it away.

    thanks, again, for your support!!!