When I started this blog some years ago, it was to write what I had been desperate to read many, many years ago - that someone else suffered as I did, ached like I did, was as lost as I was.
I didn't know anyone like me- not in grammar school when I stuffed and stuffed food in to dull the pain of a miserable home; not in junior high school when I was tormented by my peers and tormented at home, gaining 25 pounds with each grade. Not in high school, when I stopped eating because I was too tired of being over 200 pounds, Not in college when I gained back 80 pounds in 6 months of NON STOP eating. And not in my 30s when I starved and binged and purged out of every orifice I could.
Being well and at peace, I wanted to give solace and hope to anyone who suffered in anyway as I did.
When I started writing again recently, I asked myself - what's my point of view. And that's what it is - how can I help?
I just like reading your story, and learning more about how you got through it all.
ReplyDeleteI don't actually know. Did you ever go to treatment? Did someone help you more than anyone else? What was it that finally clicked?
I actually found residential, PHP, and IOP to be harmful to me. I think I have trauma related to residential experiences. I also see them as revolving doors for many people that seemed to get hooked on the idea that they need to stay in the safety treatment bubble. I have a lot of thoughts on all that. ;) I was friends with people that have literally spent years inside treatment centers and that whole world. And then people are surprised that they can't function on the outside when released and end up going back again and again. It's sad.