Russian peasant stock. That's what i come from. All of my ancestors were strong and hearty and healthy. NOT thin.
i've written about this before, but it's coming up again. i'm not naturally thin. my body loves to gain weight and does so quite quickly and easily.
as i've been letting myself be about food, i've definetely put on weight. as i've forgone the daily weigh-in, my pants have tightened indeed. however, this is what's supposed to happen, i'm sure, for MY body.
i weighed myself at a friends' a few nights ago, and i'm now up 15 pounds since last year at this time. that's 35 pounds heavier than my lowest weight. am i healthier, you betcha. am i happier, YES. and i'm no longer living on red wine and salad.
i look like an adult woman, which makes a lot of sense, since that's what i am.
still, it can be difficult. i'd assumed that if i learned to eat intuitively, i would somehow end up nicely thin (not skinny). for many people, that happens. but i have to accept, as i've said, that i'm not naturally thin. i don't know what my natural weight is yet, but i want to be ready to accept it, no matter where it falls.
until then, i'm hanging in there, literally loosening my belt and staying away from the scale as much as possible. i also (and this is corny) look in the mirror and tell myself i look just fine. this actually works. i do look fine.
my guy friend pays me lovely compliments (love that!)and seems to find me pretty attractive.
i'm eating well. not binging, purging or starving. and i'm living life.
pretty good, if you think about it.