turns out, the gorgeous woman who sits next to me at work weighs exactly what i do. how happy am i -- she's perfect, so i must be okay.
but here's the thing -- why am i comparing myself to every human on earth? i'll even watch my guy friends eat and gauge what i'm eating against what they consume. with the guy i'm seeing i'll hear myself thinking, "he's 5'11 and weighs 170; i'm 5'6 and 135. he ate a whole sandwich, but i had more potatoes..." how ridiculous.
i compare myself to everyone about everything, actually. i think everyone's better, smarter, funnier... mostly, i assume everyone knows better than i do.
i'm starting to work on this. it's SUCH a habit -- it's shockingly constant. at this point, i'm more noticing than taking action - it's so ingrained.
i'm working to ground myself in myself. THIS is where i am and who i am right now, separate from other people and who they are.
it actually feels odd. i've always gauged who i am against other people.