it started with eating. sure, later i found drugs, alcohol, spending, obsessing about men...
but it started with food.
i'm going to get to the bottom of this. i'm going to be okay.
i've been reading a great book, Food: The Good Girl's Drug, by Sunny Sea Gold. It's all about binge-eating. i identified one million percent. my eating disorder started with binging, day and night. after i gained 70 pounds, i caught the starving disease. starving, as it so often does, lead me to binging, then purging.
i've come a loooong way, baby, but i still worry about my weight, still think of food when in need of comfort, still look forward to eating alone at night and well, i haven't got this down yet.
i'm going to. i'm not giving up until i'm living in this world content with my body and having food in its proper place.
Saturday, i'm going to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. i've never been before. i'm not sure it's for me, but i'm interested in seeing how it works. AA, of course, changed my life in every way, but it makes more sense -- you can (you must) abstain from alcohol. but food? we'll see.
i've decided to make a study of this whole thing on my path to real freedom.