i really want a drink, but if i can't go ONE day without drinking, i really need to be inpatient, and i don't want to go inpatient.
i hate this. i want a glass of wine, but i took a strong dose of antabuse and will get sick if i drink.
why am i doing this, this sober thing? because i am an addict and can not drink moderately. because i want to see who i am without alcohol. because i need to bring my life back into control and make honorable choices.
it wasn't so hard in the past. today is really hard. i'm going to keep writing, because i don't know what else to do.
now i'm going for a bike ride, because i need to get out of the house. more later.
thanks for listening.