Blurgh, blugh, argh, eek, grrr
that's how i'm feeling these days. stumped, stymied, stupid, scared.
i'm unemployed, need to find a place to live and am, basically, starting all over at 46.
boy did i lose myself along the way. i've acted unconscionably and wonder what happened to my moral compass.
the only place to begin is here. i'm job-hunting, apartment-hunting and SOUL SEARCHING.
i want to be a better person, someone who doesn't steal other people's vicoden, for example. UGH!!! did i do that? yes.
i've alienated some people along the way. i find myself unusually alone. why do i push people away?
a lot of concrete and spiritual work ahead.
BLURGH, BLUGH, ICK, EEK, AARGH, OUCH, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!