My friend,jane, just discovered that her daughter, liz, has begun starving and purging. jane learned this by reading liz's diary. to make matters worse, fourteen-year-old liz has begun dressing trampily to get attention from boys. her self-esteem has always been low.
jane doesn't want to tell liz she read the diary, and Jane's therapist agreed. i think Jane needs to tell liz she read her diary. She can say she read it because she's been very concerned and she loves liz so much, and now she's ready to help.
but jane's stuck on this privacy thing -- she and her therapist thing it will feel like too huge a betrayal to liz. so jane thinks she just really can't do much of anything at this point but watch and wait.
i say liz needs to go to a medical doctor now AND to an eating disorders specialist therapist. i sometimes find that the most wonderful regular therapists don't often understand our disease.
i'm really worried about liz. she was always a chubby kid. now she thinks the only way to get boys is to be really thin and dress promiscuously. will she submit in a sexual way to boys, so they'll like her and pay attention?
jane is distressed and loves her daughter, but i don't think she sees the big potentially awful picture.
what can one do for a young teen who's developing an eating disorder?
should jane tell liz she's read the diary?
do you tell a teenager ALL the repercussions of anorexia and bulimia? do you try to sort of scare her by sharing the physical side effects?
do facts and information dissuade someone from developing an ED?
what can we do for out daughters?
do you have other thoughts and ideas on the topic?