Wednesday, August 5, 2009

that's the weigh it is

a heart tied with string is a pretty thing drew this picture, Measure Me. (i love her work -- so well done and so evocative.) unfortunately, i am having technical difficulties with my computer and am not able to transport that great picture. just go to her blog.

The picture reminds me of the one time I stopped weighing. I'd whip out that tape measure every morning and wrap it around all my offending body parts. i was binging then and gaining weight. Each day, i'd pull that tape tighter around my waist, sucking in my gut while squinting my eyes, praying to discover an acceptable number.

these days when i don't weigh, i find myself staring at my stomach, checking for any new bulginess. when i sit on the toilet, i gaze down to see if my belly's the same size as the last time i sat on the john. there is no peace.

Harriet didn't weigh herself with me on Tuesday. She wrote that when she weighed herself on Wednesday, she'd lost two pounds. That could mess a person up!

Eating Alone also stayed off the scale. He said that it calmed him to step on the scale again on Wednesday. I found that too -- what a relief to know what i weigh.

what have other people done when they've stopped weighing? did you initially eat less out of fear? did you "relapse"?

By the way, i weighed myself Wednesday, but not yesterday. i was at my brother's but actually FORGOT to weigh myself. wow.

3 comments:

  1. Wow, that's great that you "forgot" to weigh yourself. I love that forgetfulness :) I love it when I forget what I had for breakfast when I'm making lunch. It means my brain must be calmer.
    I think when I stopped weighing, I felt some liberation, but apprehension too. I don't know if I ate less, but I definitely felt more aware of what I was eating. That calmed over time though as I realized my body wasn't changing drastically. My clothes still fit. I think you're doing fine. You're experimenting with not weighing. THere is no right or wrong with it.

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  2. Ok, I misspoke. I got a scale, but it was not turned on. I still don't know what I weigh. I might even try that blind weight thing when I go next week thursday. Wow, ok no blind's I need to know. Even thought whatever it is I will not like it. If I'm down, I'm not down enough, if I maintain then I have to restrict or exercise and heaven forbid if I'm up. Then depresion and binging. Wow that's me certifiable. Sorry about that I had a 1/2 a bagel (not on the planned food list) now I'm going nuts.

    That's good new's that you forgot to weigh yourself. Keep updating, I'll try and hold off till Thursday. I may have to hide the power cord.

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  3. In a way, forgetting to weigh yourself was an unconscious step forward. It means that slowly it will become less of an important thing in your life.

    When I stopped weighing, I'll admit that I had trouble with restricting. But now I don't weight and I'm just letting my body go where it needs to be.

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