Many thanks to everyone who responded to my last blogs. I am finally back on my feet and back at the job. Still not 100% but happy to be off the couch! Now that I'm "me" again, I'll be a much better comment responder. In the mean time, THANKS AGAIN!
Yes, I am on the mend and Yes, I did lose a few pounds with the flu. Weight loss is so darn complicated for us, isn't it?
I'd like to think that I was like a normal person with the flu -- I slept most of the time, so I wasn't eating during that time. I felt pretty dizzy, so i didn't really want to eat...
Or did I? I didn't want to want to eat but deep in my messy mind, food is always comforting AND the cure for all ills. I have a sinking feeling that if I knew I weren't ging to gain weight, I would probably have eaten quite a lot while I had the flu. I know normal people wouldn't, but let's face, when it comes to food -- I'm not normal!
What I DID do is kind watched what i ate. I knew broth was good for me, so i drank it. we know broth is low cal, so of course I drank it! i drank tea (which i don't like) because my boyfriend (gently) made me. (thank boyfriend!) I ate sweet potatoes, because they're soft and tasty and good for you. And in the refridgerator.
Other than that, i ate salad, which is ridiculous because my stomach was quite off. I also had sliver of pizza, because the boyfriend was eating it and it looked good. Oh yes, i ate ice cream, which is also ridiculous considerating the phlegm issue (sorry). Why was i eating ice cream? Well, i eat ice cream every day -- why should a little bronchitis stop me?
Overall, i see, I didn't not eat like a normal, intuitive eater. To some extent, I restricted, but on my own behalf, I wasn't that hungry.
And I lost a couple of pounds. Yes, I like the weight loss. I'm still a healthy weight. My My boyfriend would say I look better with a few more pounds. Most people would say I look better with a few more pounds. Only people with distortion would not say I look better with a few more pounds.
Why don't I?
You eat ice cream every day? Real ice cream? Wow. I wouldn't say you are a distorted eater based on that alone. I eat ice cream once a year - when I go to the beach. I used to eat ice cream every day, but I was 30 pounds heavier. Now I think of ice cream as poison.
ReplyDeleteI don't think there is anything wrong with what you ate while you were sick.
As I read this, I worry that I might get sick too. I hate being sick more than anything on earth, and now I have two jobs to worry about getting to. I've been very lucky the last few years.
ReplyDeleteI always revel in any weight loss, no matter how it comes about. Not sure why, never really had much of an issue with food, but I do find that when I lose weight due to a huge stress in my life, it scares me a little. My sister had an eating disorder for decades. I guess I have a bit of that way of thinking as well. I truly believe that it starts out societal, and worms it's way into the fabric of your psyche before you realize it's happening.
I'm so glad you're feeling better.
Glad you're feeling better, first of all.
ReplyDeleteThere have been studies that show that even accidental weightloss (through an illness, etc), can sometimes trigger a spiral into an ED for someone with no history of dieting, lots of biochemical shit that happens inside when we drop pounds that is dangerous for the ED-disposed...hang in there and try above all to be conscious about your actions and motivations while you get back on your feet. Sure you may be full if you only eat X, but if you know you actually need Y, go with that. It can be tough to resist slipping farther, but not as tough as climbing back up if the slip progresses....hang in there!
Harriet; thank you. i guess i ate okay for a sick woman. i've found i have the best success eating small amounts of what i like. once i take what i like out of my diet, i want tons of it.
ReplyDeletekaren; women and weight -- most of us can't help but feel something. it's always sounded to me like you are healthy with food, and i think that's really great and important.
yes, don't get sick. but if you do, you do and there's not much you can do but take care of yourself. i'm knew at my job and was none to happy to have to take off, but i couldn't get out of bed -- no matter what.
be well, karen!
cammy; you are right. i think i did okay, because i was sick and miserable. it was interesting, though, that old thoughts crept in. i guess i was weak. i'm almost back to my old self and eating pretty regularly. as you say, it's important to stay diligent!
I am glad that you're feeling better-- and sorry that I've been m.i.a. for a while!
ReplyDeleteI think that given the situation, you handled yourself well. It would have been easy for you to not eat entirely, and slip backwards. On the flip side, it also would have been easy for you to binge and purge. But you did neither and at relatively healthily, even if it did result in some weight loss. I think it's great that you made it through and you're back on track. :)
I'm so glad that you are feeling better! I know how triggering weight loss can be. It sounds like you did well considering you were sick, just don't let the restrictive behavior continue. You are in my thoughts, and I'm so impressed by your progress since I have begun reading your blog! You are awesome:)
ReplyDelete