my mother's gift

yes, i am getting lasix surgery today. evidently, i'll have fabulous vision. and i won't need glasses (if all goes well, of course.)

i've been wearing glasses since i was nine. that's thirty-five years of nuisance.

i'm rough on glasses. i fall asleep with them on and then rollover. they are ALWAYS dirty. i shove them angrily on top of my head when they weigh too heavily on the bridge of my nose. i can never find them in the morning, because, well, i can't see!

evidently, all that's going to change after the surgery. i'm most excited about finding my way to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

the decision to have the surgery was spontaneous. i'd gone to the eye doctor for a regular check-up. And i'd been thinking about getting contacts again, although if i'm hard on glasses, i'm a tyrant to contacts. i rip them, poke my eyes trying to get them in and lose them. the cost of constantly replacing contacts was practically prohibitive.

i also needed sunglasses, which is a major expense. in addition to the exhorbitant cost of the frames, my lenses are always big bucks. my eyes are terrible, so if i don't get very special ($$$$$) lenses put in, i'm left with the glorious Coke bottle effect.

sitting in the doctors office, i saw a brochure about Lasix and suddenly, it seemed like a great idea. although the surgery is EXPENSIVE, i figured the rest of my lifetime of glasses (tri-focals soon) and contacts would cost just as much.

i decided to pay for the procedure with a bit of the money my mom had left me. my mom had the worst eyesight anyone had ever seen. she needed a pair of glasses for everything -- playing the piano, driving, driving at night, reading music, reading books... her specs-packed purse was a... sight to see.

my mother hated her eyesight. in her later years, she needed cataract surgery and ended up with 20/20 vision. while she suffered miserably with Parkinson's disease, at least her vision pleased her beyond compare.

everyone agrees that my mom would love me spending her money on the surgery. i love the idea that when seeing well, i will ALWAYS think of her -- she will always be with me, each time i look.

i'm leaving for the doctor's in two hours. yes, i'm getting nervous. i didn't research the procedure, because i don't really want to know what they do. still, i know something's going in my eye, and there is the potential for something to go wrong.

i understand that my vision will be blurry later today, and i'll have some restrictions for the next few days. blurry vision is creepy, but so many people have had this surgery. i tell myself everything will be okay, and if all goes well, soon everything will be GREAT.

wish me luck. i'll let you know how it goes.