Ugh. After all these years, I still hate gaining weight. It
seeps into daily life (“my weight is up, my weight is up”.) Yes, it’s not like
the old days when each pound brought tears, starvation, shame and terror, but
it still niggles at the back of my mind.
Today, I left my house with my head up, make-up on, wearing
a cute outfit – just like I always do. I remind myself constantly that no one
notices 5 pounds, and if they did, they’d be weird.
I remind myself constantly that I’m not a number – I’m a
woman with a heart and mind and many more important fish to fry (fry!) Worrying about a few pounds is stupid, not
productive and helping no one. Pretty much, it’s just selfish and
self-centered.
And I’m the only one who cares. My boyfriend doesn’t notice
my weight at all and tells me I’m beautiful no matter what I weigh, no matter
what I’m wearing, make-up or no make-up… But I don’t believe I’m beautiful. I
think I’m funny looking in a sort of appealing way. At least I don’t think I’m
hideously ugly anymore!
But the reason I always knew myself to be hideously ugly was
my weight – I was the fat kid, mercilessly teased and taunted. My peers called
my names. Adults harangued that I desperately needed to lose weight to be
acceptable or attractive. When I finally
did lose tons of weight, it felt like the world cheered.
No wonder I am where I am.
my best fried is overweight and was a 'chubby' child. I guess, i mean when i look at her childhood pictures I see a kid that has a bigger shape but not an overweight child. Anyway i think she has PTSD from the merciless taunting and abuse she received from her peers. It was not just name calling, she was bullied. They were abusive and she was terrified. I think it still severely impacts her 30 years later. I give her support but as we know the hardest parts you must do alone. It makes me insanely angry to see how much those awful experiences negatively warped her life.
ReplyDeleteI know the emotional weight of 5 lbs is more than the physical weight of 5lbs. You are good. You are brave. Maybe that nagging voice we have will go away and maybe it never will. Either way - you are right - We can choose to not listen. <3
It breaks my heart to see anyone teased about his or her weight. It's excruciatingly painful to be on the receiving end.
ReplyDeleteYes, kids are cruel - at least that was my experience. Will I ever let go of being the only kid in the 8th grade not invited to Michele Grosseibl's party? Or the look of pity on her face when found out that I knew? I can still relate to that horrible, hopeless and devastatingly lonely feeling.)
Re; those 5 pounds. I can totally go about my life, being productive and hopefully helpful too. But I sure am annoyingly happy when those pounds drop off!!!
Adults can be pretty cruel too, sadly
Thanks for writing GG?!!!
Advice on how to improve your memory CBD for anxiety and depression mental health
ReplyDeleteRemarkable post! Chatting about how taken pleasure in the exact examining. I’m hoping to see significantly more from your website. It looks you might have very good knowledge combined with perception. My corporation is very much fulfilled with this particular tips. Pest Control In Abu Dhabi
ReplyDeleteHealth clubs, gyms, and fitness centers come many shapes and sizes. Ranging from simple Health spaces with fitness machines, to high tech, fully functional beauty and spa. To make sure you get your moneys worth, and you get your needs met as much as possible, take these steps into account.
ReplyDeleteCan I just now say thats a relief to discover a person that really knows what theyre dealing with online. You certainly have learned to bring an issue to light to make it critical. Lots more people must read this and understand why side of the story. I cant believe youre no more well-known simply because you undoubtedly contain the gift. https://royalcbd.com/product/cbd-gummies-10mg/
ReplyDeleteBefore the Dec. 31 deadline, people rushed to set up Health Reimbursement Arrangements because health insurance premiums could be reimbursed back to the beginning of the year. More reimbursements are available when you start an HRA in Jan. benefits hot yoga
ReplyDeleteAre we really doing worksite wellness today? In this article, you will learn the difference between worksite wellness and employee health improvement. cultured organic ghee
ReplyDeletePerhaps the most confusing aspect of personal fitness is the actual fitness industry. If you are not up to date on the fitness industry, it is easy to be "suckered" in by false advertisements and promises. Learning the local Йога Львів industry will prevent you from suffering the consequences later.
ReplyDeleteIf you are suffering from excess weight, you have probably asked a question "How can I lose weight with help of weight loss pills, and what pills are the most effective?" The most effective weight loss practices include changing your diet ration and increase in physical activity. But on initial stages of weight loss diet pills can give you necessary push and speed up your weight loss substantially. how lose weight fast naturally
ReplyDeleteAre we really doing worksite wellness today? In this article, you will learn the difference between worksite wellness and employee health improvement. CT Scan in Chennai
ReplyDeleteWorkplace health should be one of your top priorities. After all, healthy employees mean less sick days and more productivity. Even when a sick employee is at work, they are not at the top of their game and they're not near as productive as they (or you) would like to be. MRI Scan in Chennai
ReplyDeleteFor nearly three decades, researchers have confronted conventional thinking with hard evidence of a body/mouth connection. These pioneering scientists uncovered, what is now a scientific fact; the health of your mouth has a direct impact on your overall health and longevity. Scientists know that what goes on in your mouth can affect every organ in your body. obstructive sleep apnea
ReplyDeleteAre you stuck in a health rut? Is it time you made some health supporting changes in your life? If you are ready to make some changes then you may be ready for a wellness program. one shot keto where to buy
ReplyDeleteMany physicians encounter patients who drug test positive for marijuana and exhibit conditions warranting prescription medications. Marijuana use is illegal by Federal law and patients who test positive for marijuana should not be prescribed controlled substances. ddruntz carts
ReplyDeleteSeeking out budget friendly health policies is feasible, there is lots of businesses that will assist you to locate health care insurance that can work for you and stay in within your budget. In fact that many men and women just have no idea where to find medical health policies. cypionate online
ReplyDelete"Christmas Gifts Ideas - Health and Fitness" is a complete guide to Christmas gifts shopping and giving of health and fitness presents. It explains what presents to gift whom and where to buy such presents with special emphasis on buying and giving of gifts which enhance health and fitness. buy hgh online
ReplyDeletePresident Barack Obama signed the bill for Health Care Reform on March 23, 2010. The bill will not only change the way Americans pay for health care, but also how they pay for insurance and utilize America's health brokers. hgh online
ReplyDeleteThe National Health Service (NHS) was setup by the government to provide healthcare for all residents of the UK and is funded by public taxes. This service is based on people's need for healthcare instead of their ability to pay for it. Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland have their own separate NHS services. endoscopic brow lift
ReplyDeleteThe National Health Service (NHS) was setup by the government to provide healthcare for all residents of the UK and is funded by public taxes. This service is based on people's need for healthcare instead of their ability to pay for it. Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland have their own separate NHS services. steroids for sale
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to organic food versus non-organic food, one of the most important Losing weight and food curious people want to ask is how to tell the difference. In other words, how to identify or differentiate organic food from non-organic food?
ReplyDeleteHealth Savings Accounts have been gaining in popularity for years. Find out why more people start their own Health Savings Account each year and what advantages that gives them. anavar for sale
ReplyDelete