I felt a little queasy after dinner Sunday night but didn't make too much of it until I woke up at 2 am desperately needing to throw up violently.
It was awful and sickening and painful and terrible. All I wanted was it for it too end, please, please, please.
It occurred to me that for most of my life, i CHOSE to throw up in and throughout the day. AND i even got some perverse pleasure from it -- i felt i was regurgitating all my problems AND all the calories i'd binged in right before the purge. I'd come out lighter, i thought, emotionally and physically.
It hard to imagine voluntarily doing what i went thru Sunday night.
I hope you are feeling better today? I feel your pain-i HATE vomit. Yet i used to make myself vomit daily.Odd!
ReplyDeleteRecoveringClaire; i am feeling so much better, thank you! Vomiting is the worst -- we knew that as little kids, but then........Thanks for writing!!
ReplyDeleteI know how this feels. When I was sick a year ago after being in recovery and abstaining from throwing up for all that time... the natural act of throwing up was horrible. I fought it for a long time and then had to let it happen. I was ok.
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