Everything else aside, I feel badly for "the Other Woman", Mildred Patricia Baena who bore Arnold Schwarzenegger's child. Everyone keeps making fun of her looks. I heard one DJ call her ugly. Someone else said the Governor would obviously "do" anything if he'd "do" her, including a chimpanzee.
I just imagine her hearing this all day, every day until the story dies, and i can't imagine how awful it would feel -- if everyone seems to universally agree that you're very unattractive and it's practically disgusting that Schwarzenegger would even consider you.
still, i admit that it flashed thru my mind. i actually tried to find older pictures of her to see if she was more attractive when they were trysting. it upset me that i was doing this. does it matter what she looked like? does it make the crime any different?
i guess this is kind of all about me. i would be DEVASTATED if so many people were making fun of my looks. DEVASTATED. i always thought i was particularly unattractive and nowwork very hard, each and every day, to tell myself i look fine. i'm getting better and some of it comes from the fact that people around me seem to think i'm fine-looking. i get compliments, no one makes fun of me, men ask me out.....
what would i do if the media compared me to a chimpanzee?
You're right, it's important to step back and remember that these people are human and their celebrity status doesn't protect them from being hurt by what people say. We forget that too often - I know I do.
ReplyDeleteThis is what happens when we live in a society that values looks above many other traits. I'm not excusing Arnold's behavior, but perhaps she had other qualities that attracted him - kindness, gentleness, intelligence. Or perhaps she was really good in bed. But society just focuses on looks.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I struggle with how I think about my look (i often don't think I'm attractive), I have been told I am beautiful and gorgeous and men are attracted to me, and I have to admit I like it that way. And that is a problem. I should care more about what men find attractive about the inner parts of me. I am working on it...
One other thing - my maternal grandmother was probably one of the most beautiful women that ever lived and even though my grandfather was happily remarried for decades, he still remembered her beauty well into his 90s.
ReplyDeleteAnd what did this beauty, this trait that society so values brought to her life? Nothing in the end. She married seven times to six men, and died alone, unmarried, still trying to be beautiful, dying her hair red up until she died, desperate because she was no longer beautiful in society's eyes.
The entire focus on her looks has somehow brushed over the fact that AS has been a bit of a prick (or a fool).
ReplyDeleteBut maybe she made him feel liked or special. Or something that has nothing to do with being gorgeous looking. The biggest sex organ is the brain so maybe she is just very sexy and he fancied her totally. Who knows what goes on in a marriage.
It just offends me on all levels that people have chosen to slag HER off because of the way she looks. Had she been some young hottie people would have been saying "on ya Arnie".
Have you ever met someone that at first you think is unattractive, but then you get to know them, and they have so many other amazing qualities that you wonder how you ever could have thought that about them? They grow in beauty. It doesn't excuse what he did, but it is sad that the focus is on her appearance. It makes me ache for her because it has to be so painful to hear those comments being made. Hopefully she is confident enough in herself that this won't be as devastating to her as it may be for those of us who suffer with severe self esteem issues.
ReplyDeleteLucy; great point. i pay too much attention to gossip, even tho in my heart, i believe everyone should be left alone.
ReplyDeleteAngela; it's such an odd thing. i grapple with the whole "looks" thing a lot. i work in a warehouse and the other women don't wear make-up, but i do. however, my two bosses are truly classic beauties and look like pageant winners. so wish i cared less!
She is morally disgusting - married, cheating with a married man, hiding the fact of his paternity from him, breaching the trust of the woman who employed her. Her physical appearance has nothing to do with the many ways she sucks but I also think she made a deliberate choice and she more than earned the consequences, including comments related to her appearance.
ReplyDeleteLinda: well said. i don't know any of the true details of the situation, of course, but i still blame him a lot more -- who held the power in this situation, after all?!
ReplyDeleteAngela; i hope so to. i also find myself hoping that she's avoiding all media.
yes, people really do become more beautiful. i just don't give Ahnold much credit and somehow don't imagine him looking for inner beauty.
Anonymous; i can see where you're coming from. i guess i'm so hyper-sensitive. for whatever reason though, i think he's the bigger dog, in every sense of the word. but i could be wrong.
I can really relate to your thought process.
ReplyDeleteHugs :)
Yasi
triumphantyasi.blogspot.com
He is more at fault here. Look at the situation: She was an immigrant taking care of the children of two powerful celebrities, probably making more money than she could have ever imagine and perhaps fearful that the job could be gone tomorrow. Then she must have realized she didn't meet America's impossible beauty standards of size zero flawless perfection. He totally held the reins of power.
ReplyDeleteThere is a reason power is scrutinized and checked in society - because those with power so often abuse it. There are reasons why therapists can't date clients, not even former ones; doctors can't have relationships with patients; presidents aren't supposed to sleep with interns; why the Catholic Church should have stepped in much sooner than it did, and why a certain presidential candidate shouldn't have slept with the woman making a film about his campaign. All of these people hold power - male or female - and the playing field can never be equalized no matter how many years pass. There is still going to be that issue of power.
Think about it this way - remember a therapist you had 10 years ago. (Or whenever.) Now think about sleeping with that person. I bet you still think of him or her as an authority figure first and a sex partner second. That's power, and Arnold abused it knowingly. I'm not excusing the mistress and her action. But he was in charge, and that is hard to fight against.
(Sorry for the mini-lecture. I'm just fascinated about the whole idea of power and the balance between people, and who holds what levels of power!)
I have to admit, I had the same thought process as you did: I wondered if she used to be really pretty (I don't think she's that bad looking now -- but not what I would picture with Arnold). It would totally suck to be her now that everyone is scrutinizing her looks but, in some ways, I think she got what she deserved (scrutiny for her poor choice, though in the form of criticism of her looks and plenty of $$ out of Arnold). My view is that they are both at fault here. I've been in the situation before where someone who was a power figure to me stepped out of bounds; I left the situation, regardless of what other losses it caused. I think that this woman could have done the same (or heck, if he was the one going after her she could have warned Maria Shriver of the situation and gained her support).
ReplyDeleteI do think it's crazy that her looks are one of the first things to come to mind though. I also think the media has been waayyy too focused on that aspect since it would be equally as wrong for both of them if she was gorgeous.
As for your looks: I'm sure you're beautiful!! I know your profile pic isn't very big and I haven't seen you in person, but you look pretty!! My grandmother was always REALLY pretty when she was young, but she's also practical and she always told me that you shouldn't fix yourself up or wear make-up for the benefit of others, but you should do it if it makes you happy. SO, with respect to working in a warehouse where not everyone wears makeup: I think you should wear makeup if it makes you feel comfortable or happy.
nice post!
ReplyDelete