I wrote this entry this morning and posted it under "The Lunch Order". i didn't realize then just how much i really, really want/need your feedback, thoughts and advice. If you have a couple of minutes, i hope you'll, uh, "weigh" in. Thank you so much. Here's the original post.
There's not much for me to do here at my new job, but one of those few things, sadly, is getting everyone's lunch. Couldn't i just dig for coal?
this is a FOOD-oriented group and picky and particular. did i mention they're all picky and particular?
does anyone else see the irony of a woman with a 30+ year history of eating disorders being the resident food enabler?
my gang here gets hungry early. we're a meat distributor that opens at 2:30 am. (i get in at 7.) by the time 8:30 am rolls around, it's "Melissa, what's for lunch? Melissa, we're huuuungry".
by 9:30 am, i'm off to the supermarket to fulfill each person's needs (that's after the hour or so it takes to get everyone's order.) Sue's on the Atkins diet, so it's cold-cuts for her. Annie wants fruit, but is very picky about the quality. Johnnie needs sweet pickles; Marg wants gherkins. Different mustards, different dressings. Walnuts for Sue (is that even on Atkins?), lightly salted cashews for Annie. Becky asks for boiled ham -- sliced THIN. the boss wants coleslaw without any purple cabbage. diet coke, regular pepsi, vitamin water.... it goes on and on and on.
it's worse if we order in. it takes a good hour or so to get consensus on a place. then no one can make their minds up about what to eat. then i have to call a few places to see what the specials are. after that, everyone special orders EVERYTHING anyway, so who cares what's on the menu or the specials? and everyone complains about the cost...and, it doesn't end.
so ironic that's i'm the gal. me, i like to forget about food during the day and only think about it when i'm hungry. to spend most of my morning on this (hearing the whining, taking the order, going to the supermarket, shopping, laying out the food table, cleaning up....)is fairly bizarre, vaguely freaky and always annoying. on top of it, i feel demeaned -- like a servant.
i wouldn't mind all this so much, i think, if i were a waitress, but i had no idea this was going to be a (big) part of my job when i was hired. i thought i was going to be trained in the business and then groomed to sell. hmm.
i'm smiling now. i put off writing this post because i know it makes me pretty darn cranky and i, myself, start whining. but after this morning ("this grapefruit isn't ripe enough", "no purple cabbage", ) i needed to vent.
why do i stay at this job, you may ask yourself (and me)? well, i'm not quite ready to switch AGAIN. and i find lots wrong with every job i work.
this job, in general, is low stress for now. there's not that much to do. i can leave early if it's really dead. i'm way over-paid for what i'm doing, and i have benefits. going to the supermarket (and running all the other errands) gets me outside for at least an hour. everyone's nice enough to me.
besides, i don't know what else i'd want to do at this point. this is a really good time to figure it out. i'm sober, getting more confident, enjoying life itself a lot more and beginning to really work on fear.
fear keeps me doing all the things i shouldn't be doing and keeps me from doing all the things i could. touche