Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Bored/Anxious/Depressed

Work is really, really slow, and I work on commission. I’ve been cold calling and calling and calling, but nobody’s hiring. My boss is NOT happy. And I hate cold-calling.

If I’m not cold-calling, I’m working hard to look busy, but I am truly running out of ideas.

Right now, it’s making me anxious and depressed. I have that bleary-eyed, foggy thinking, brain befuddled thing going on. I’m getting a little sweaty. And there’s two more hours to go. AND this is the time of day where it gets even slower.

I don’t mind the job at all if work is consistent or busy, but that’s just not happening lately. Every day stretches before me. I sit next to my supervisor who wiggles if I’m not on the phone, making or taking calls.

I’m a little worried about my job – if I’m not taking ads, I’m pretty superfluous.

I daydream about going back to school but am not sure how, exactly, to afford this. Do I want to take loans at my age and end up in big debt? I just got my credit back and don’t owe any money at the moment. AAAARGH.

I don’t know what to do about work. I’ve only been here four months. I’d really like to be able to stay here and support myself. I don’t want a different job at the moment. All I’m qualified for is more of the same. As I said, I don’t mind this job if I have enough work to do.

What do other people do when they’re bored, anxious and depressed at work? Anybody hiring?!

7 comments:

  1. The devil makes work for idle thumbs, if only you had him on side for inspiration :) I know just what you mean. I work in a pub and on a Monday night it's absolutely dead because everyone's been out on the weekend. Another start to another week. So I find myself rewashing the entire glassware, or lingering by the crisps to see whether I could force another packet in or not, or wiping the tables to the degree where there's a real danger of eroding the top layer off. It's the pressure of having to act busy when you really have done it all, or is nothing left to do that you haven't already thought of, that puts you on edge. Makes your head hurt. Like you've got to justify your wage and job every single second to appease the drill sergeant breathing down your neck. Sometimes there is nothing to do, and that's nobody's fault. It's hard because you get a kind of satisfaction from knowing just how much you can do, and the pride of a job well done. When you can't fulfill that you feel redundant. Anxious. Like you say, superfluous. And who wants to feel like that?

    As for cold calling. I did that once, and never will again. I found it hard to be convincing when I knew I wouldn't like being disturbed at home myself. And those on the phone had every right to be annoyed that I was trying to sell them everything under the sun whilst claiming that I wasn't.

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  2. hey, I did cold calling for my university...well kinda, we called alumni begging them for donations..which was stupid in my opinion....but we worked hourly- thank god- but i understand your frustration with that type of job. i stuck w/it because well..i had to but trust me...it's not a piece of cake. And then i got a job after graduation at an optician's office ( eye doctor asst ) and I ended up being sooo stressed and overwhelmed- i relapsed hardcore and now I work at a family owned inn and i sit here for 8 hours checking people in ( which takes like 2 minutes each and we get around 10 if not less check ins a day ) and then twiddle my thumbs. i'm at work right now. I know when i was overly busy and stressed- work did go by quicker but I do notice that now...

    i am more anxious and my mind does wander places that make me very...panicky sometimes but I know i have to hold it together bc I'm at work but...i donno if this is the right job for me either. I think I just need something in between....

    and when I get this bored, anxious feeling... i get online lol and read blogs or blog myself or...watch lifetime movies on youtube...and occasionally i'm stupid and use symptoms... yeah, go me

    xoxo
    -Lisa

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  3. Ugh, I know what it's like to feel antsy and anxious when you either don't have enough to do or feel like what you're doing isn't all that significant. This time of year, also, I think is hard for many people, a combination of yucky weather with post-holiday letdown. Hang in there, I really hope your week gets better.

    And don't write off the option of going back to school! My mom went back to get her law degree (complete with taking out loans, having to buy a whole new wardrobe, the whole shebang) at age 46. I had several undergrad classes with people older than my parents. People do it all the time, and if you have a passion you want to pursue, or want to open more options for yourself, it's never too late!

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  4. VV: Thank you. I felt better when i read your comment. I felt like i was all alone yesterday. Interesting, everything around me can make but feel all alone, but your comment from so very far away gave me company

    Today is the same level of way-too-quiet, but my mood is better. Which is nice.

    Lisa; wouldn't you just love a job where there's a nice balance AND you're interested in the work? i think if i cared more, i'd work harder, and everyone would be happy.

    hope you're taking good care of yourself. i know all about relapse. Be well

    Cammy: THANK YOU. i have a feeling i may well go to school. i really want a meaningful career. it used to terrify me -- going back to school and going for a real career. now, it actually seems exciting. WOW! that's change

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  5. I have some really boring aspects of my job, but I'm usually all alone at work. So I can goof off a little, but usually I try to find something to do - reorganize files or something. I have often thought of going back to school, but the financial aspect and my age have always stopped me. But I say go for it if that is what you want to do!

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  6. Don't feel bad. I work in a casino and I thought it'd be super exciting but there are dead days too. I feel so bored and restless during these times and I just want to go home and pretend like I'm sick so I could do more with my time somewhere else.

    You're luckier than me that you get to sit, I have to stand for 7 hours or walk around and try and speak nicely to some rude Chinese gamblers.

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  7. I know that feeling too and am a bit in the same boat as you. I've often thought about going back to school as well and worry about dealing with debt when I feel like I'm barely afloat now.

    I hope you can decide and go for it. I think you have a lot to offer!

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