Just a warning. i talk about height and weight in this post.
My sister was telling me that my niece's weight is really an issue. Jessica, now 15, stands 5'4 and, my sister stage-whispered with horror, "must weigh 150.
My naturally skinny sister talked on and on about the tips she wants to give Jessica. (I'm sorry, but naturally skinny people don't get to give diet tips! i don't believe in diet tips, of course, but they're even worse coming from someone who's never dieted in her life)
of course, i worried about this all day. here's the letter i wrote my sister last night.
if it's possible, can you forget about the weight? i know it makes her unhappy, but if you can, don't add to that unhappiness. she'll find her way.
i thought i was the ugliest thing on earth because the family so valued slimness. i work with two zaftig women who think they're gorgeous. and they are. all the men chase them. and these women are 5'4 and about 170. i know, because they tell me. they're adorable.
if you can't live comfortably with her at 5'4 and 150, really think about that. she's healthy. she's wonderful. does it really matter how she looks? does she really look "bad"? does it matter to you?
we're a weird society. leave her alone and give some thought to why she feels the need to eat so much. is it anxiety? or...?
i would definetely not give suggestions based on how you do it.
what would happen if when she complained, you said, "jessuca, you're beautiful and you're healthy. if you're unhappy, let me know what i can do to help. but as long as you're healthy, you're weight isn't particularly important."
what IS important about jessica?
if this feels really hard, think about it. i was sure that you and mom loved me less because of my weight. i loathed myself. i wouldn't take that risk with jessica.
if this feels really hard, think about it.
just my opinion, but i feel pretty confident here. help jessica feel glorious at every weight. please