i got invited to a Botox party today. but wait, aren't i 23?
uh no, i'm not 23, but that's how old i really think i am. they say your emotional growth stops at the age your addiction/ED started. i can't quite pinpoint it, but i'm still pretty immature.
when did i get to be old enough to be invited to a botox party? i don't know, but i really didn't know how much i must show my age.
there i was at the hairdressers, getting my highlights. (since i always color my hair, i couldn't tell you if it's ever gotten gray). the lady who does make-up at the salon was bored and offered to do my make-up while my color was "lifting" (i love that word. sounds so positive.)
as she applied the make-up, she got really "helpful" and showed me a cream that would help diminish the lines around my eyes. "they're not too bad yet, " she warned. "better to start using this now before they get really bad."
i didn't know i had lines around my eyes. well, maybe i did, but i didn't really NOTICE them. they're MY eyes, when did they start getting "bad".
(just an aside, the other day i was putting make-up on my niece, who really IS 23, and then I saw it -- our eyes have different skin around them. her face is like a baby's. mine......evidentally not so much.)
back to my make-up session. here come the balms and creams and lotions and vitamin repairs, all "reasonably" priced compared to the ones they sell at Macy's. well, actually they were cheaper than the ones they sell at department stores, but they were still exhorbitant, particularly as i hadn't known i'd even had these horrible lines before i got to the salon.
next we moved on to my laugh lines. while the eyes were borderline, the laugh lines were already becoming a problem. and you know what, on closer inspection, they are kind of deep. happily the same balms, lotions, creams, sprays, vitamin repairs, exfoliators, and cleansers could battle BOTH the crows feet and the laugh lines. wow, what a financial savings.
still, they could only do so much. did i want to come to Botox party with a fabulous plastic surgeon who'd demonstrate the most exciting new techniques in.... (i forget what botox does to the skin. puff it out? if it does puff out your face, what self respecting gal with an ED would sign-up to pay tons of money to fatten her face?)
i was floored. did someone just invite ME to a botox party. i feel a million years old. kaploom goes my spirit. here i'm ready to start all over and change careers and finally become the person i never got to be because i was starving, binging, purging, drinking and drugging and now i'm old?!!!
i've been moping around all day. waaa. i'll never be young again. i have crows feet. no employer will ever hire such an old bag.
as i'm moping around, i remember that every time i go to buy make-up skin cream lately, someone tries to sell me anti-wrinkle,anti-aging, anti-crows feet, anti-laugh line cream.
why? what's wrong with lines? what's wrong with age? i know i'm programmed, so i won't like it when those laugh lines deepen and the crinkles show up on my forehead, but what's so wrong with them?
i'm not spending hundreds of dollars on potions. and i'm certainly not inserting poison in my face. such a weird concept.
i pray i write this very same thing when i'm 55.