Friday, November 25, 2016

Does it end? Or not?

I'm okay with my new current weight.  I'm definitely bigger. My jeans are tight, but that's why God made leggings, of course. So, that's okay.

Trying on dresses at Marshall's today, the saleswoman recommended I buy spanx. I was okay. Of course, I'm never going to wear spanx (I'm all about comfort, thus the leggings), but I could deal with the fact that spanx might now improve the way i look in a dress.

So, right now, I'm okay. But the trend has been upward and onward in the weight department, and I promised myself I'd keep on this mission until my body found it's real comfortable place to rest. And so I worry a bit.

I'm still completely happy with the way I'm eating. My relationship to food is excellent - it's fuel and I like it to taste good.

But I can't deny the niggling concern that this upward trend won't stop and I'll gain and gain and gain until I'll be asked to purchase an extra seat for myself on an airplane.

Still, I won't stop this process. I have always, always related to larger women, knowing that I am meant to stand with them. I need to work on the confidence to go home to where my body wants to be, wherever that is.

The journey continues...

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