It's rare that I gain weight these days. I've been so comfortable with my eating, my weight and body. But suddenly -- "hello" weight gain and "good bye" comfort.
Perhaps what's most uncomfortable is how - uncomfortable - i still am with weight gain. I can say i'm easy, breezy about food, weight and body when I'm at my desired weight, but not so much right now.
Old thoughts creep in -- I need to restrict, cut out treats, weight myself daily. I begin to worry that i'll keep gaining and gaining until I'm the 200 pounds I weighed as a teenager. I chastise myself for overindulgence...
New thoughts try to push out the old. I tell myself I'm fine, still a healthy weight, I'm more than a number on the scale, this is disordered, mean and oppressive thinking.......
Let's see which side wins.
