Wednesday, February 16, 2011

i don't seem to care much about my weight

did I write that, "i don't seem to care much about my weight?" WOW.

i just wrote that in response to a comment on my last post and then i stopped -- i guess i DID write that. could it be true?

i last weighed myself 12 days ago. it's a pretty big deal for me, indeed.

hand in hand with jumping off the scale, twelve days ago, i left D. and my home of 3 1/2 years. since then, i've been living on my own, in my own place for the first time in years. in the last 12 days, i went on a job interview and got offered a job (which i think i'm going to take tomorrow.) i've helped facilitate an AA workshop and lead a meeting. And i've felt friendships grow and develop, even in the last 12 days.

so much has happened and changed and moved me forward happily and with powerful strides.

on some levels, in the scheme of things, it seems trivial that i haven't stepped on scale. yet, we all know how huge this is.

speaking of huge....the "elephant" in the room. will i grow huge without the "kick your ass" guardianship of the scale.

i don't know. i have no idea how much i care.

my weight is definetely up. i look better. i feel better. what if it goes up more? i don't know. my range of "fine" keeps going up.

this is all rather startling. i find i love being startled!

15 comments:

  1. I love this!!! You are truly an inspiration to me:) AWESOME!!!

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  2. I am so happy for you! I am developing the same attitude, after all, what did being thin do for either of us anyway?

    Recovery is hard but it is soooo worth it!

    I'm so proud of you!!!

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  3. The best part of that was the comment that feel better! I'm so happy for you. Scales are not to be trusted.

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  4. So many changes, and so many accomplishments! I think it's great!

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  5. Good for you. Time to celebrate. Cheese cake for everyone!!!!!

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  6. Wow! Lots going on. I'm nothing short of thrilled for you! XOXO

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  7. You are an inspiration to me! Thank you for sharing. Thank you for keeping on keeping on through all you've been through and for bringing us with you. For what it's worth, I am so proud of you!

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  8. I'm new to your blog. Hello. I read through the last several posts and I just want to say that they've been really inspirational. This one is especially uplifting because of how much you've accomplished in such a short amount of time! I am kind of at a crossroads in my life with my career and recovery and everything. It's nice to know I have potential to turn things around, even if it takes me a bit longer. ;P

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  9. wow.. this is really nice article.. nice information is given here.. thanks for sharing it.

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  10. OMG I cannot begin to tell you how much I LOVED this post. LOVED, LOVED, LOVED!!!! I'm sooo there! I just discovered this blog yesterday and I ready marked it to my favorites!

    I too gave up caring about my weight YEARS ago. It was so freeing! What an astonishing revelation it has been! When I lost track of me weight I gained 1-an awesome job, 2-an swesome husband, 3- a trio of beautiful sons, 4- a house that I bought all by myself (before my marriage), 5- an even better house that I bought with my husband, 6- awesome friends, 7- a clear head and last but certainly not least, an amazingly sunny outlook on the whole darned thing!

    I was a drunk, a starver, a puker and an exercise-a-holic. I had a nice skinny ass though! Today I don't have a skinny ass, but I have EVERYTHING else. EVERYTHING!

    Recently I decided that my weight was too high and I need to shed a few lbs. I'm doing that slowly with the help of a nutritionist. It's lovely and it's no big deal (most days). My greatest fear is that I will return to the world of weight = self worth. Taking it all one day at a time.

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  11. Good for you!!!!! and i agree that you are inspiring..with the food/weight issues of course but in other ways, too. I am thankful to have found your blog.

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  12. Heya, so much has happened, my computer broke so I lost your email address but I really want to get back in touch. I was kinda worried about you because you haven't posted in so long. I hope you get this.

    I also need your help with something, I know you'll be perfect for it :)

    I want to start a small project for a new page on my blog (peaceloveandrecovery.blogspot.com)
    I want to collect quotes from everyone I know who either has recovered or is recovering from an eating disorder that start with the words "I am recovering because..."
    This is to provide hope for people who are uncertain or scared about recovery. To provide a reason to keep going :)
    Thanks for your help!

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  13. Hey! Hope all is well and that the reason you haven't posted lately is because you're enjoying life and having fun. Thinking of you and sending positive vibes...

    XOXO

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