i don't seem to care much about my weight

did I write that, "i don't seem to care much about my weight?" WOW.

i just wrote that in response to a comment on my last post and then i stopped -- i guess i DID write that. could it be true?

i last weighed myself 12 days ago. it's a pretty big deal for me, indeed.

hand in hand with jumping off the scale, twelve days ago, i left D. and my home of 3 1/2 years. since then, i've been living on my own, in my own place for the first time in years. in the last 12 days, i went on a job interview and got offered a job (which i think i'm going to take tomorrow.) i've helped facilitate an AA workshop and lead a meeting. And i've felt friendships grow and develop, even in the last 12 days.

so much has happened and changed and moved me forward happily and with powerful strides.

on some levels, in the scheme of things, it seems trivial that i haven't stepped on scale. yet, we all know how huge this is.

speaking of huge....the "elephant" in the room. will i grow huge without the "kick your ass" guardianship of the scale.

i don't know. i have no idea how much i care.

my weight is definetely up. i look better. i feel better. what if it goes up more? i don't know. my range of "fine" keeps going up.

this is all rather startling. i find i love being startled!

Great Weight/No Scale

i feel like i'm at a great weight, but i wouldn't know. i haven't weighed myself in over a week!!!!!! i don't own a scale. YAYYYYYY.

i can't remember the last time i went more than a couple of days without hopping on that digital monster. and during those days, i was really kinda nervous. now, well, i have some brand new trust that things will be fine.

i was up 8 pounds when i moved out last Saturday. i'm assuming i'm somewhere in that range now, but it doesn't seem to matter.

as i make lists of what i need in my fabulous new home, every once once in a while i'll think, "oh, maybe i should get a scale." but then that thought drifts out. in truth, i really need to watch my pennies and i certainly don't NEED a scale. toilet brush - yes. vacuum - yes. tampons -- yes, a true necessity. Scale -- uh, if i have a couple extra bucks, i'd rather have a latte.

isn't it nice that the scale loses? ha ha!

let freedom ring.

Internet's coming

i'm getting internet service at my wonderful new home today, so i'll be back in blog world. i've been computer-free at home since Saturday. no TV either. quite peaceful, actually.

i am so looking forward to sitting down and catching up on blogs. (i'm writing this quickly from work-- personal stuff is HIGHLY frowned upon.)

i love, love, love my new home. i couldn't be happier.

AND -- i don't have a scale. haven't weighed myself since Saturday morning. i was totally a daily weigher. this is grrrreat.

gotta run back to work. more later -- when i get internet service. YIPPEE

Moving Day is Here

Hey, everyone. I'm moving today! i can't believe it. I'm going to have my own apartment.

i haven't written much lately, because everything's been a wild whirlwind of activity swirling around. but i found a nice place that's much closer to work == half hour closer each way. and i'll be standing on my own two feet (a little scarey financially, but that's the way the adult world works.

i'm super tired today -- up all night packing and there's a BIG day ahead. Can't wait for the end of the day, when i curl up on my own bed in my own apartment where the heat is great. yippee!

a bunch of guys from AA are moving me. i am so lucky and grateful. my life is not the life i had six months ago -- not by a loooong shot

if i'm not in blog world for a little, you guys know why. also, i missed the cable guys at the new apartment the other day, so i don't have internet or tv yet

the guys are here. gotta run