I thought I had it licked – I eat what I eat and I’m okay.
Eating what I eat means eating when I’m hungry and stopping when I’m full. In general, as I don’t really exercise, that’s not a lot of food, and I’ve come to terms with that. After a lifetime of compulsive eating, bulimia and anorexia, it’s a peaceful way to live.
Last night, there were food issues in my dream. I was visiting my sister and I was scared of food. Her family lives to eat and exercise; they are professional athlete fit AND they eat generous quantities all throughout the day. The whole family loves to cook and bake.
All day my sister plans meals – she makes fresh pastries for breakfast, looks forward to a hardy lunch and prepares big delicious dinners.
Back to my dream - we were sitting over lunch as my sister picked which fabulous restaurant to go to for dinner.
I kept worrying about my weight, what with all the eating, and began planning to starve all day so I could at least eat something at night.
The rest of the dream involved food restriction. That was it – there were no family activities or fun or spending time with my dear niece and nephew or playing with the adorable dog. It was all about maintaining my weight.
What a nightmare! And something for me to look at. Am I, perhaps, restricting during the day? Or, are there other things going on in my life that I’m trying to avoid by focusing on food and weight? Hmmm